I have a really hard time knowing people don't like me, but it's unrealistic to expect that an ex is going to just let a breakup slide off their back and switch to being buds with you. The more selfless thing you can do in this situation is be firm with your decision.5. But remember that uncomfortable feelings and difficult experiences are all part of being a human.Remind yourself that feeling anxious, guilty, and conflicted (and anything else) is OK. Don't try to ignore the feelings or tell yourself you shouldn't feel uncomfortable because you're choosing to end it. Be prepared to experience some negative feedback from that person and/or their allies. Remember you're likely not impermeable to insult, so ensure you have supports as well to debrief any negative feedback you receive. And, if you feel guilty, it's a good thing — it means you have a conscience. RCC is a psychotherapist, wellness expert, blogger, and lover of sport and satire.For example, don't say "I'm not emotionally available" or "You deserve better." Those statement might be true, but they're likely not the reason you want to end things.Try something like, "I'm not totally invested in this, and I don't think it's fair to you to continue stringing you along," or "I've been seeing someone else and I think we're a better fit for each other."2.Don't keep sleeping with them if you know they want more. Don't keep liking their Instagram photos and FB statuses, sending them messages ("Thinking of you! It will be confusing for them and will delay their healing process.4.If you feel compelled to do any of the above, ask yourself if you're doing it for them or for you.The shift from childhood to adulthood brings on much exploration in different fields. A study published by the Archives of Sexual Behavior reported that sixty percent of college students have participated in a casual relationship.
They, in most cases, will have more than one sexually active partner at a given time.This is why I chose to do my masters research in the area. In the form of more serious, long term relationships, we avoid "the talk." We silently remove ourselves from the relationship emotionally.(Ironically, when I was writing the final chapter of my thesis, I got harshly dumped. )Anyway, ending a relationship — whether it be a casual one or a marriage — is thick with anxiety, guilt, and conflict. We have unenthusiastic sex (or no sex) then lie awake next to them for the remainder of the night. I used to say "I just don't like hurting people." I would then phase people out accordingly or slowly distance myself from them emotionally, which was easier on my conscience but far harder on my exes.In casual relationships, we stop answering text messages or provide short, uninterested answers. I've since realized that sure, I don't like hurting people, but what's really happening is that I don't like guilt and anxiety and conflict, so I ignore or avoid the "problem" to gain the illusion that "it's" (they've) gone away And the reality is that they might go away, but they do so wondering what the heck just happened (and sometimes send a string of angry text messages). So before I offer some tips on breaking up with someone, I want to qualify this. I've had my heart smashed to bits twice, and I'm pretty sure I've smashed a couple.I've been on the receiving end of a casual relationship ending over text message, Facebook Chat, the "phase-out," and the "I'm gonna drink few glasses of wine while you tell me you're seeing someone more seriously now and we can no longer talk."I get it.Read more from Megan on her blog, One Shrinks Perspective.com, and check out her You Tube page.