It’s clear that many women are just begging you to text them shots of the Junior Senator even if they don’t actually say it, or hint at it, or want it.
It’s harsh, but for the foreseeable future, you must deny the women of America these glorious snapshots of your majestic manly vistas. No matter how they subtly signal you that they want some sexy snaps, whether by briefly speaking politely to you or by existing, you must say, “No.” But if you do say, “Yes,” try to take them from a flattering angle with some good lighting.
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We’ve learned so much about what women face in the last few weeks, and you liberal men should take this as an opportunity to change – specifically, out of your flapping bathrobes and into some Dockers.
Groping, flashing, molesting shrubs – believe it or not, some women consider these things to be wrong. Sure, but for now it’s no more monkey business as usual.